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Before the internet I used to like people.
That awkward moment when you give the same Hallmark card two years in a row.
Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
My poor neighbour suffered a stroke today...I must remember to close the blinds before getting naked.
If there`s no god then how do you explain yoga pants?
It`s been discovered that 1% of the population is allergic to Gluten. The other 99% are sick and tired of hearing about it......
Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.
Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ? LOL JK, I have to pee.
Sometimes I canβt remember what parking lot I left my car in at the mall so I get it Malaysia Airlinesβ¦I totally get it.
Boss just announced she is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
Seen it all, done it all, canΒ΄t remember most of it.
Pregnancy test confirmed me my worst fear.......I`m just fat
You don`t know true competition until you`re one of the last two people in musical chairs.
Champagne says I`m classy. Vodka says I can do anything I want. My therapist says I have to stop talking to my drinks.
I`m terribly conflicted when people I hate from work, bring cupcakes.