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It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
That awkward moment when you buy a pack of condoms and your wife ask. what you gonna do with those?
Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
Don`t sugar-coat it, I`ll just lick that off....
If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place.
I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.
I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
Very little scares me. So does very big.
I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
Why hasn`t anyone written a sequal song to "Jessie`s Girl" ... Where he discovers what an incredible high maintenance drag she is?
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.
I went shopping for some camouflage trousers earlier. Couldn’t find a pair anywhere.