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Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
You might be addicted to Facebook if you read my post`s every day...
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
You know that tingly feeling you get when you have a crush on someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
Today I caught myself smiling ... I was thinking of you ... Don´t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
When it gets nice out I`m going to have a roof party and after that`s done have a painting party inside, come all
Sometimes I wish I was a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.
Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, people, cook it right the first time or get out of the kitchen!
My favorite machine at the gym is the one you put change in and snacks come out
My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”
I bet Eve bit that apple because she knew she was going to get a bunch of clothes out of it.