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Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
I`m sorry but sh!ts and giggles don`t sound like things I want to have happen at the same time.
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
Once again I`ve woken up without super powers. Sigh
Went looking for camouflage underwear today.....couldn`t find any
You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn’t stolen.
Sorry I cancelled at the last minute, but it took me forever to think of an excuse I hadn`t used yet.
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
More people should be at a loss for words.
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How sh!tty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
So long pants! See you Monday!
To Do List: 1: Buy a knife 2: Call it kindness 3: Kill people with Kindness
Sidenote #2: Always have your middle finger ready on standby.