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How come know-it-alls, don`t know how annoying they are?
2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
I never talk to myself......But I do have some candid conversations with the other personalities!
Does the sleeve tat go with my male pattern baldness and pot belly? Asking for a friend.
I`m already getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, I`ve given the bird to lots of people today.
I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance! ..By driving away and not leaving a note.
For $60, this printer ink had better be hand squeezed out of endangered squids.
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
If you are alone and feeling lonely, fart. Someone always walks in after you fart.
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
When we were kids, we didn`t have Pokemon Go. If we wanted to look for things that weren`t there, we would get stoned like normal people.
If you didn`t want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder.
People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.