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I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
Telling a girl to calm down is like trying to baptize a cat.
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
For once I`d like to see "It`s been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"
once a homeless guy said to me `Hey you got a dollar` and I said `wow your absolutely right..with psychic powers like that I`m surprised your still homeless` got in my car and left..
Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.
Your so lazy you should have a Life Alert bracelet that says I`m Just Napping.
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
Screw your recommended serving size. You don`t know me.
I`m getting tired of having to write "Sent from my iPhone" at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just get an iPhone.
There is a gym called Anytime Fitness. I choose 2030.
Time to try some of this candy from the Easter "bunny"... Can`t trust anything you find laying in the yard these days.