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"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
New Years Eve. It takes 24,367 bolts to put a car together and only 1 nut to spread it all over the road, please don`t drink and drive and become the nut
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri says, " In 400 feet, stop and let me out".
I gave my boyfriend a glue stick instead of a Chapstick last weekend, and he`s still not talking to me!
Pac-Man taught me that you can eat ghosts if you take enough pills.
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain a lot of things......a LOT of things.
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let`s try to leave better kids for our planet.
I finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying sound in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out!!
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
I`ve just seen an advert in my local newspaper. ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! $35,000 - $40,000 So I called them up and said, "The answer is -$5,000."
After I die, there are some people I’m going to haunt the sh!t out of.
We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know…like Thursday.
Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
I rather read the software license agreement for my computer than some peoples Facebook status drama on my newfeeds