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There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
Jehovah`s Witnesses, Improving my hiding skills since 1974.
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
The bouncer at the club calls me Kevin McAllister because I`m always going home alone
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
Sooooo, ..a friend of mine was watching my dog lick herself in a certain area. Out of nowhere he says, "I wish I could do that." ...I said, "Go ahead, but she might bite."...
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
There is no time to check time
The only toys I was allowed to play with in the tub were the dirty dishes.
Found a note on my door today that said ”You’re Awesome!” ... Yes, I wrote it yesturday. But still, the truth is the truth.