Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
I retired from being my brothers keeper when I realised that I was letting in goals that wouldn`t have scored if his post was empty
I wonder how often I’ve narrowly avoided death without even noticing.
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
Instead of cleaning the house I just watch an episode of Hoarders and I think WOW, my house really looks great.
never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes
"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York
I`ve been working with this alcohol free program for like six months and it`s really taken a toll on me ... I mean, I`m broke and as far as I`m concerned, they can buy their own alcohol.
Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, The shaking icons make me feel like they`re all panicked over who`s getting deleted.
Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships.
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.
Being single is the worst sh!t ever. Being in a relationship is a close second.
Setting an alarm is how we ruin days that haven`t even started yet.
If it doesn’t involve food or sleep, I’m probably not interested.