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Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.
Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
people say i talk in my sleeep , but no one at work seems to notice
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut
You’ve never truly lived until someone has posted a sign because of something you’ve done.
A pretty important part of being a dad is waiting in the car.
Scared the mailman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or that I knew where he lived.
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling.. as I butter a doughnut
I hope when Bruce Willis dies, it`s from a Viagra overdose. That way the headline can read "Bruce Willis Died Hard".
Next time you take your dog for a walk, dress like a cop & pretend to be searching the neighborhood for drugs.
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"