Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Multi-tasking: the art of screwing up everything all at once.
Have you hugged you bartender today.
The problem with the rest of the world is that they are always 5 drinks behind.
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting . . . I nearly couldn’t finish my sandwich.
Got kicked out of the local casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
People treat New Year’s like some sort of life changing event. If your life sucks today, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow
I wanted to say thank you to all the people who gave me a reason to drink this Friday night.
Why would anybody put 99 bottles of beer up on a wall in the first place?
Everything is so much funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.
Don’t be upset that you’re single; be happy that someone isn’t ruining your life.
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them...
Thanksgiving advice: Sit at the kids table for as many years as possible.
It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes and sighing heavily and crossing her arms and holding in a fart.
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?