Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
When people say things like "You can`t change the past" I can`t help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind.
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
I`m pretty sure God just pointed at me and laughed.
I`m opening a bar called The Office. You`re welcome guys. "Be home soon sweetie, I`m at The Office"
I`m absolutely nailing this "I give a sh!t" face today!
I didn’t say “what?” because I can’t hear you. I was giving you a chance to change what you said.
Men are usually too focused on the cleavage in the shirt to notice the crazy in the eyes.
You chicks spend a lot of money on makeup to look pretty. Save your cash, buy him Alcohol.
I`ll admit I`m not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?
I’m totally fine with favoritism as long as I’m the favorite.
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.