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What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
Relationship status: I get the remote to myself!
Sandals or shoes? I have adorable toes. All 12
According to the law it`s not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
I like to make up words just to keep my auto correct in check.
Well, the people outside are frightful.
You can`t always control who walks in to your life but you can control which window to throw them out.
Baby.. I wanna be the reason you need therapy.
I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it`s AM. Google thinks I`ve got my life together.
In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
Wouldn’t it be a smart idea? To make the sticky part on envelopes taste like chocolate?