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Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
Redneck word of the day : Asphalt. It`s your own dumb asphalt !!
I`d rather spend 5 minutes reorganizing the dishwasher, than spend the 10 seconds it takes to wash the dish that doesn`t fit.
Who do you have to sleep with around here to sleep with someone around here?!
If they really want to increase breast awareness, why not try a National Motorboat Day?
props to the parent at the mall that walked up afterward to ask santa what his kid wanted lol
I am not sure, but I think I just heard my cup of coffee say, "You are my b*tch"
Hooters does have hot girls, but the Subway girls are the real wife material.
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.
If flying is really so safe, then why is it called the `terminal`?
The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills.
I secretly like days when none of my Facebook friends have birthdays.