Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
I`m old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year.
Facebook is like Chinese food. When you think you had enough, you want more.
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes...
I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.
Had to talk with my son about masturbation today...I explained that it is natural, and he should probably knock before he comes into my room from now on.
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married, right?
It’s a good job Apple isn’t in charge of New Year. We’d all be expecting 2015 and get 2014S instead.
If you were a cookie, you’d be a whoreo.
I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off.
Not so great minds also think alike.
Your parents taught you to wash your hands after you pee. My parents taught me not to pee on my hands in the first place.
I bought the world`s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it`s terrible.
So red or white wine with hamburger helper?
I like to track people down, knock on their front door and say "we have ten people in common on Facebook, can I come in ?"