Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
We live in a society that`s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
Today is "National Take Your Flask To Work Day." ... I just made it up. Tell the others.
I think I will start calling my wife "My Customer" since she is always right...
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You`re welcome.
My lack of dusting will finally pay off on Halloween.
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
When I die, I am going to haunt the f*ck out of you people.
The filling in this fortune cookie tastes like paper...
Who`s more foolish, a fool or the person who takes a fool`s advice?
I miss the good old days..when you could slam the phone down.!!
Sometimes I wish there was a `Build-a-Girlfriend`.
You never know how many people you dislike until you have to name your child.