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If anyone tells you that you drink to much on the weekends. Stop talking to them...you don`t need that kind of negativity in your life
All I see on Facebook is penis, orgasm, bang him, bang her, bullwhip, masturbate, porn, tits, and then I read everyone else`s posts..
Yes, I know why you pulled me over. I didn`t see you in your little hiding spot over there, so I couldn`t slow down in time.
They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence.
When I see a cute couple making out I yell, ” I knew you’re seeing somebody else!” and run crying.
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
Every novel is a mystery, if you never finish it.
I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find `em.
Actually officer, if you factor in the earth`s rotation, we were all speeding.
Pulling out a winter coat and going through the pockets to find out who I was 8 months ago.
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
Boobs make me forget about all the bad things in the world.