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There`s a difference between having a unique name and a common name that`s spelled wrong.
Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats.
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
Instead of cleaning the house I just watch an episode of Hoarders and I think WOW, my house really looks great.
Have you ever wondered if God looks down at you in a humorous moment, chuckles to himself, and says "yeah I made that!"
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
Why would I dance like nobody`s watching? People need to see this.
Think about how much more stressful life’s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
The parents with the ugliest babies take and post the most pictures.
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.
Note to self: the wife does not want an `exercise pole`.