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My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
2 can keep a secret if one of them is dead...
I think about hiring a maid way too often for someone who has plenty of time to clean.
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
What happens in Vegas never happens to me
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
Decided to cut back on my beer drinking. Fortunately, this martini is helping me through this tough time.
Sometimes I buy huge pants and take a picture of myself holding them up just to feel like I lost a ton of weight.
I just lost my mood ring, I don`t know how I feel about that.
I carry a knife, but it`s just in case of cake.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.