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Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
I`m never more nervous than when I tell a doctor what I actually eat.
The problem with some people is that they`re breathing.
I don`t believe in karma, but I do believe in punching people in the face.
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
I never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn’t hate.
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
Life is funnier when you have a dirty mind. ;)
I am who I am, your approval is not needed.
If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.
Based on my reaction to toast popping out of a toaster, I’d like to recommend you never throw me a surprise party.