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feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
You`re never too old to throw random sh*t in people`s shopping carts when they aren`t looking.
I took out an ad for a girlfriend recently and 10 guys tried to give me theirs.
I am the undefeated champion of this”smooshing-down-the-garbage-so-I-don’t-have-to-take-it-out-for-another-day” game.
It`s so cold outside you can see your farts.
Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can`t flick your friends out the car window
It`s been rough today, right now I`m busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
I don`t know why the Petco cashier gave me this look when I asked for the fish`s Birth date.
I try not to laugh at my own jokes. But we all know I`m hilarious.
Nobody tell my husband that "year round periods" aren`t a thing.
I`m so glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how long it takes me to understand what someone is saying.