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You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
Got a passcode lock that takes a picture whenever someone tries the wrong code to look in my phone. I now have fifty pictures of drunk me.
I did responsible things all day so tonight will consist of nothing that even resembles responsibility.
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
wants to come back as a bird after I die.... just so i can sh!t on the people who piss me off.
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
Even though I`m only 29, I know I`m going to die a bitter, lonely, miserable old man ... I`m married.
"I`m glad the weekends over" -Nobody ever
I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.
I don`t want to brag, but I`m single-handedly responsible for 86% of the rules in the Employee Handbook at work.
Tieam... problem solved
Does anybody know how many toddlers you have to bring to `Toys For Tots` before you`re eligible for an Xbox?