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Huge spoiler here ... Did you know Dave is actually NOT the real father of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.
I`m here to pick you up when you fall. Whether I tripped you is another thing...
"I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating pain 3. Stepping on a Lego
There`s a sense of great satisfaction when I`m the tie breaker between `Funny` and `Not Funny` status updates.
Guys, how many times have you said "it looks great honey" when you really are just laughing inside?
Since 4th of July falls on a Wednesday do we drink the weekend before? the weekend after? That Wednesday? The entire week? The entire month? The entire year?
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
Here, take my hand. Now slap yourself with it.
No means no! Unless she`s dyslexic; then it`s on!
I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.
If you Google the word `overreacting` there`s a picture of me using a fire extinguisher on a spider.