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Proposing to a woman isn’t like choosing a life-long business partner. It’s more like hiring your own boss.
why me is me ?
You`re never too old to be spanked ...If you play your cards right.
my friends status was "standing on the edge of a cliff" ... so I poked him
If you respond to coworkers asking how your weekend was with turkey noises, they leave you alone.
If money cant buy happiness,explain beer!
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
Adding “and sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
I`d publish my autobiography but it`s just a bunch of liquor stained pages filled with doodles, and rants about stupid people.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Eating Popcorn: 90% during the trailers. 10% during the movie.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....