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dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
Something I will never understand: Why it’s acceptable for people to be idiots but not acceptable for me to point it out.
My wife said I can definitely have a man cave, if that`s what I want to start calling the hall closet.
When I`m happy, I drink and when I drink, I`m happy. Win/Win!!
Coffee`s a great way to fool yourself into believing you`re going to have a productive day.
The skeletons in your closet are suggesting that you upgrade to a double wide, walk-in.
Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think "Wow, these are Awesome!"
I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
FYI, Target does not give prizes, no matter how many bullseyes you hit in the store with a paintball gun
Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn`t improved since fourth grade.
People are obsessed with this storm but in a couple months no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno.
I`m sleeping in tell Friday so ... Happy Tuesday.
I wish all these vegetarians would stop eating my food´s food!
The 4 stages of a relationship: 1. I like you 2. I love you 3. I hate you 4. Arson