Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Secretly adding a tablespoon of butter to everything he eats is my long-term exit plan.
I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
You know what bothers me? When people assume you`re homeless cause you`re asleep on the street and your pants are gone..
I’ve noticed the less open-minded someone is, the more open-mouthed they tend to be.
I`m honestly convinced some women do not fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.
Your things are terrific.
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
My favorite thing around the holidays is being put into a group message with 200 people reply "Who`s This"
Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.
I did all I can do. I can´t do no more
Sorry, Mr. Homeless Guy, here’s the story. I’m in college. I work part time and I can only support one of our alcohol problems.