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TV needs to stop putting up those stupid “viewer discretion” warnings. My mom is sick of me calling her for clearance.
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
Can everyone come to my funeral in FBI outfits, stand at the back & not say a word to my parents so they think I lived a cool double life.
We look like we are being productive, but really, we are just talking sh!t about co-workers and how drunk we got last weekend.
Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?
Some people are like rain clouds. Once they f*ck off, it`s a beautiful day.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
"Paypal me your lunch money!" -Cyber Bullies
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
Whoever invented the 5 day work week and 2 day weekend can suck my a**!
Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
Whoever said time heals all wounds never had their leg bitten off by a shark.
I like dressing in a red polo shirt then going to Target & being rude to costumers
I went by the Gym today. Its the third time this week............. One of these day`s I might actually go in.
I met a guy exactly like my father so I brought him home and my mom shot him.