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I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then have the nerve to ask me why I`m not wearing pants.
I was going to write something profound and memorable here, but I can`t remember what it was.
My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.
It takes one slow walking person in the grocery store, to remove the illusion that I`m a nice person.
The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
I was in the gym earlier and decided to jump on the treadmill. People were giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions
I`m a responsible person. People are always saying "I know you`re responsible for this."
Do you like me? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no.
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then my car is Satan`s chariot.
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
Working in retail has taught me that the customer is always right. At least while they`re in earshot...
once again Tequila is the Delete History button of my brain.
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride