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Helpful Tip: A ceiling fan won`t cut a bagel in half ... Not even on top speed
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
I hate it when people beg for likes, like if you agree?
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn`t at work anymore.
You know you’re awesome when you know you’re awesome.
Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I`m 100% behind you.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
Today please just pretend I wrote something hilarious, click like, and move on down the news feed.
Today`s Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bullsh*t.
I spend more time looking in the fridge than I actually do eating.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills.
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
I liked you better before we met.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
It’s a holiday. You know what that means… Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.