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The first rule of selfie club should be to clean your room.
is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage
The brain is like the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
Just used a full size twix bar to stir my coffee.
Sometimes it takes me 8 hours to get nothing done.
As often as I lose lighters and sunglasses, it`s a good thing I never had kids. Or did I?
Forecast for the weekend... mild alcoholism, with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday.
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
It`s fun to leave a note on the windshield of an expensive car saying sorry I smashed it, but I fixed it so well that you can`t tell.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills.
I like to flush the toilet a few times when I`m on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again
I don’t mind going to work. It’s that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
Im so lazy today, I am going to watch fast and furious in slow motion.
Just because nobody complains doesn`t mean all parachutes are perfect.