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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
Sorry I stopped listening to your story when it wasn’t about me
School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
I love how stars are billions of miles apart and we`re like "that`s a soup ladle".
Apparently, I did not use enough a$$hole repellent today
Why does the alphabet need to be in order anyway
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
I fell asleep at the wheel last weekend. My pottery was ruined.
If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
Based on commercials, every single car has won car of the year.
What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
If there’s one thing that having kids will teach you, it’s home repair.
Women with big breasts... ...can get a taxi on the worst days ...have a neat place to carry spare change ...have always been the center of the arts (art) ...make jogging a spectator sport ...can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub ...have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them) ...usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie ...can always carry a little extra ...always float better ...know where to look first for lost earrings ...rarely lack for a slow dance partner ...hav
Scientists are saying that social media is making us less accepting and more aggressive. Whatever, a$$holes!