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If we agree, I`m probably being sarcastic ... Or I`m drunk
Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.
This pill bottle says `Take with plenty of fluids` and `Don`t take with alcohol`. That doesn`t even make sense
Thanks to Facebook, rock bottom now has a waiting list.
I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
I thought a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it only changes the color of the baby.
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad."
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn`t mean I`m stalking you...It just means you haven`t looked nice in awhile
No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers.
Okay kids don`t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger`s houses except on the day we worship the devil.
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)
People who go to the store and buy the single roll of toilet paper must not have an optimistic view of their life expectancy.