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Black ice is just like regular ice except it dies first in movies.
is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
Salad tastes pretty good once you add some pizza and get rid of the salad.
I’m eating for two – me and that skinny girl inside my body. She likes cake, too.
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
Why do crutons come in resealable bags? Are we really worried about them going stale?
I’m better at remembering people who have bad breath than important historical facts.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
Helpful tip #12: Never buy all the tools you need to kidnap, kill and bury someone from just one store.
Every conversation should come with a snooze button. That way if you`re being too boring, I can push a button and keep you from talking for the next 10 minutes.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.
I may not be the only egomaniac around here, but I’m the only one that matters.