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I`m starting to think mosquitoes just land on our faces not to suck blood but to see how stupid we look when we slap ourselves.
Marriage, because sometimes ruining a person`s life takes serious commitment.
I can buy my own sugar. What I need is an insurance daddy.
The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
I’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
Those who tell you not to run with scissors are just trying to steal your scissors. Run.
I need a "previously on your life" recap for the things I didn`t pay attention to.
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
I used to like my neighbors until they changed the password to their wi-fi :)
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches
This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.