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Winter needs to calm the f*ck down
The brain is like the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
Alcohol goes in, truth comes out.
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
You can learn a lot about a woman by watching her load a gun.
Did 4 push ups & 2 sit ups then ate 4 doughnuts & drank 2 beers. It`s called balance people!
i hate it when other people hate the person i hate!!!
I eat a whole pizza before I go to the gym, because a good workout begins with low self-esteem.
Think about how much more stressful life’s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
wife: It`s ruining date night me: It`s ruining date night because you`re letting it ruin date night hitchhiker: Just drop me off on the corner
With great power comes a great electricity bill.
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
The trick is not let anyone know how really weird you are until it’s too late to back out.
To whoever said “fight fire with fire”: do you actually test your own advice before giving it?