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My neck, My back, My Netflix and my snacks...
I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
I love my toilet. We`ve been through alot of sh!t together.
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
My wife always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
About to stick a pin in your voodoo doll.... Brace yourself.
If you have a mirror handy, kindly gaze into it and you will find your problem
hmmmm...halo or horns today??
Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Everything Else
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
Skinny people are bitches. Probably because they`re hungry.
It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it`s fixed and finally cool, you leave.