Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
Don’t tell me what to do unless you’re naked.
Next time a customer service rep asks “Is there anything else I can do for you?” whisper “Smile for the camera, I’m watching you” & hang up
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
One of these days I`m going to get help for my procrastination problem.
All milk is breast milk.
Some mornings it`s best just to fill the sink with coffee, dunk you head in, and suck.
I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the “For External Use Only” warning labels.
Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I’m starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
Would people still go to the gym if Instagram didn`t exist?
With great power comes a great electricity bill.
If your girlfriend says she`s going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall...You might be dating my wife.
Typical: you have nothing to wear for a party and suddenly the rabbits, the birds and the mice begin to sew you a dress
Every photo taken inside my house has at least one laundry basket in the background.