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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn`t 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?
[takes out checkbook][clicks pen] Alright, how much to make these Bit Strips to go away forever.
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
"That was supposed to be a compliment." -Men
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I`m not used to consuming wine in pill form.
Whatever doesn’t kill me makes me all like, β€œWhoa! That was close!”
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in court someday.
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
Dear Ninja Turtles, Why are you wearing masks? There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one`s gonna mistake a different turtle for you.
New parent: I can`t believe how awesome my baby is. 10 years later: Wow, they sure do grow up fast...10 years later: Seriously, get the f*ck out of my house!!
People always say, "You can`t have your cake and eat it too." I say, "Of course you can. Just make two cakes!"
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!