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I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
Tattoos are like potato chips. You can`t have just one.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and a crappy party host.
Your boyfriend has long hair too. I sometimes have trouble figuring out who the girl is in the relationship.
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
8 more days and I will finally get rid of last years Halloween candy.
Trying to achieve the perfect erection. How hard could it be?
"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
If someone doesn`t respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don`t love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly.
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision.