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Just when you think you have the answer a woman will be there to change the question.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned hiking, it`s the early bird gets the face full of spider webs
Just found a shopping list in this cart that said, "Beer, wine, crap like that", so apparently my soulmate is still out there.
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.
Does anyone else wonder why naked and baked, 2 words that go together SO well, don`t rhyme?? ...I mean, who comes up with these words anyway? lol
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
I`m sleeping in tell Friday so ... Happy Tuesday.
Ain`t no sunshine when she`s gone..... or sandwiches.... Ain`t no sandwiches either.
You wanna know where I`m ticklish? Hawaii.
Probably the worst thing you can do to a person is leave them a voicemail.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so that I could slap 8 people at once.
I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and Iām still at work.