Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
Will be drunk until further notice.
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
Taking viagra for my sunburn. Doesn`t cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night!
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
I dance like people wish they weren`t watching.
Found out today your supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at waffle house....just trying to help.
75% of my day consists of looking at the clock and not believing it
My wife keeps leaving magazines lying around with the jewelry ads circled. I got the hint. For Valentine`s Day she’s getting a magazine rack
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
My life has a surprising lack of dance battles.
Most difficult job ever.......Working in a bubble wrap factory......Imagine the self control needed.
Fun Prank: Put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me.