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I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.
Therapy helps ... but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper!
Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, who the F#%K are you?
A poem about me: I hate mornings. I wish I was drunk. The End.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
If anyone is looking for an unlicensed helicopter pilot give me a call. . .
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
Sometimes, when I "like" your post, it`s because my touchscreen is too sensitive and I only meant to scroll by your ass. Sometimes. ;)
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?
One dog was admiring another dog`s leash, and said, "I admire your restraint."