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I wear a ski mask to bed so if there`s a home invasion, the intruder will think I`m part of the team.
People reckon I´m too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they´re stupid).
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
We may be an advanced nation but we still have to remind employees to wash their hands when they pee.
did you notice when you yell "yo ugly" about 10 people turn around
watching porn is like finding happiness in other enjoyment.....
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
Haiku`s confuse me / Too often they make no sense / Hand me the pliers
Even atheists make bargains with God when the toilet water threatens to overflow at a friend`s house.
I said "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t." but the judge didn`t buy it.
Don`t be ashamed of who you are. That`s your parents job.
i`m my own therapist...which explains so much.
When I was younger my dad showed me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you would not have been notified.