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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
Memories of you make me look forward to alzheimers.
Yes, I realize I’m leaving early. But don’t forget, I also came in late.
Your just jealous because u don`t hear the voices.
If a dentist makes his money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
Dear sneeze, If you`re gonna happen, happen. Don`t put a stupid look on my face and leave
If you’re happy and you know it, you’re probably exhausting to be around.
The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she`ll call security.
In terms of procrastination, I`ve had a very productive day.
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it`s AM. Google thinks I`ve got my life together.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
Do you ever just look at someone and think "Wow, let me take off your pants."