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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
Sometimes I feel bad about the things I say and do, but today is not one of those days.
My wife and I are dieting now… and by dieting, I mean we’re not telling each other about the junk food we eat.
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver
Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes in your friend’s drink. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.
Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here`s the bad news. You just wasted it reading this post.
I decided I really need to read more. I watch way to much TV ... So I turned on the subtitles.
My friends made fun of me for buying this flamethrower, but at least I don`t have to shovel snow this weekend.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
Has anybody seen my keys? they`re awesome.
Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it`s not their own.
I only party on 2 occasions. 1. When it’s my birthday 2. When it’s not…
going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.