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For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
I found my wife through online dating. So, she`s definitely got some explaining to do!
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
If you ever hear me say that I missed you it`s only because I have bad aim.
Since you no longer have a calendar I`d like to notify all the Mayans that it has been one year since the end of the world.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
I`m obviously smarter than you`re
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married, right?
Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
Is it the S or the C that`s silent in scent?
When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.
I hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we haven`t thought about in a while ... demons."
Actually, when I went to New Orleans, I blacked out too.
It`s called fall because everything is falling; leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...