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If I ran the country, things would be a lot better ... Well, for me anyway.
I am busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.
Iām going to start telling girls that Iām available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
Lord, it`s me... Can you close your eyes for a couple minutes while I deal with a slight problem?
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
I just did a bunch of crunches and curls. There were Nestle Crunches and cheese curls, but still. I`m exhausted.
In my experience, temporary insanity can last a long time.
Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.
Sometimes I laugh so hard the tears run down my leg ;)
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?