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All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I`m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
If you`re in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible.
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
I am proud to say that I have completed the 1st item on my bucket list... I got the bucket
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
Efficiency: skip your morning, wake up in the afternoon.
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
She calls it cuddling. I call it strategic body placement for the war of the covers that is about to take place.
Apparently I misunderstood it when I was told to "expose yourself to other cultures."
Me: Well hello again. I knew you`d be back. I seem to have that effect on people Fed Ex: Just sign here so I can leave