Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Spicy food is like BDSM for your mouth
I don`t have mistletoe this year, so we`ll just have to kiss under the influence.
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
Walmart: the only place on Earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real life "what not to wear" episode.
I´m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Facebook needs a "slap a b!tch button"
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
There`s a word for people like you ... "leave"
Hello...
Your cat doesn`t love you. If it were bigger it would eat you.
Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable
That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.
How do you make your wife scream during sex?? Call her and tell her about it.
From now on when I accept a friend request I`ll just write on their wall: You belong to me now.
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke