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You know something bad is about to happen when someone says "Hold my beer and watch this."
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons!! Enjoy the day
Now that I`ve maxed out my 401k for the year, I`ll get a tattoo, said no one ever.
I don`t get it, no matter how many times I call `shotgun` the cops always put me in the backseat.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problems. 99% demons.
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
When people have cars as their profile picture I automatically presume they are a transformer.
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
Who did you vote for?? Clinton ? Trump ? Vodka
I really don`t get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she`s at least 18.
I really wish Wal-Mart had a 10 teeth or more line...