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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
If your pillow fort hasn’t got an armory filled with Nerf guns, then you’re not really taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said bet you can`t hit me with a quarter!
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
My New Year`s Resolution is to stop making late decisions.
Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the glitter in my car, I now realize I`m a ball of fun when I black out.
I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie
I painted a banner for our annual family picnic, but my Mom thought "Celebrating 100 Years of Undiagnosed Mental Illness" was inappropriate.
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
After Monday and Tuesday... even the week says WTF!
Sometimes I drive between lanes and pretend my car is Pacman gobbling up the dashed lines.
At least a stalker is there for you.