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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
If I agree with you, we would both be wrong.
Married sext: I`m not wearing any underwear, because you never put the f*cking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times
Summer needs to slow the hell down.
Ride me like you stole me.
It`s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
Wtf neighbor I waved to you last week
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
I`m known all over the world for my exaggerations.
My weight loss goal is to not care about the crumbs at the bottom of a Pringles can.
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one.
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy
person 1: i can draw really well person 2: i`m really athletic person 3: i`m hilarious and likable person 4: i`m gorgeous me: i can breathe
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.