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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have 5 fingers, the middle one is for you.
"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
It`s hard to compliment a fake person without lying.
Basically the way it works is I tell myself I`m not going to eat too much and then I eat too much.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
I`m always on the verge of running three miles, or drinking a bottle of Vodka
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
75% of women in open relationships don`t actually know it yet.
Where is the button to restart summer?
I took the "Which 90`s Cartoon Are You?" quiz and got "You`re a fucking grown man. Stop it. Right now."
If I lived everyday like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.