Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Turns out that my get rich painfully slow scheme isn`t working out either.
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
How to create a weight-loss program: (1) Take a before picture. (2) Eat like a pig. (3) Take an after picture. (4) Switch the pictures.
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
Orange Hi-C counts as a serving of fruit, right?
I wish "it`s the thought that counts" worked for housework.
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
Ladies, wonder if he`s busy or ignoring your texts? Offer to send nudes. If he instantly responds, he was totally ignoring you before.
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.
How’s your day going? Here’s a good way to tell: Is it “already” 2:00pm or “only” 2:00pm?