Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
The last time anything got banged on my bed, it was my little toe against the leg.
Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things. ;) Just Sayin`
Party like you will never be invited to another!
Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn`t think of this.
Kids today are so coddled- Elf on the Shelf, Toy Story. In my day, if dolls magically came to life, they murdered you and everyone you loved
You`ve got to love yourself ... Just not in public places
Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world ... to get back from a woman
I found a dollar in my bed this morning... Following my excitement was a flash of panic as I checked all my teeth
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
It was all so different before everything changed.
What idiot called him Alexander Graham Bell instead of Lord of the Rings
People hate facing the truth. Luckily the truth doesn`t give a sh*t.
Mom: Some scary old lady keeps FaceTiming me. Me: Mom, turn your camera around and she’ll go away.