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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Do you really know me or am I just an idea that you`ve built in your head?
When I see you in hell I`ll still ignore you
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
On a math test: 2+2 = ? Me: *Use calculator just in case
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
This status is mine....I licked it.
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik`s Cube. If you kids don`t know what a Rubik`s Cube is, it`s what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones. Mel
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life`s problems
Interviewer: "What did you like best about your last job?" Me: "Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake."
Pay no attention to the device around my ankle.
I don`t run away from my problems. That`s immature. I ignore them.
No matter how many lives you have in Candy Crush, you’ll still never get your own back.
Starbucks isn`t really that expensive compared to how much Victoria`s Secret charges per cup.