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Lady at my gym is pedaling a stationary bike while eating chips right out of the bag. I`m hiring her as my personal trainer.
Every day is a struggle between wanting to lose weight and wanting to eat my weight in pizza.
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
I wonder if people that live in Hawaii have screensavers of bumper to bumper traffic?
If u think I talk to much, just let me know. We can talk about it!
What supermarket did the pilgrims visit to purchase their canned gelatin cranberry sauce? I want my Thanksgiving to be authentic.
Iām not sure why, but to me Cheerios sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals.
I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me.
If you are offended by the opinions I express you can only imagine the ones I keep to myself.
Life is funnier when you have a dirty mind. ;)
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
Uses for the plastic ruler..... 5% to draw stright lines 95 % to hit people.
If it`s the thought that counts ... Then I should probably be in jail
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?
You haven`t truly tested your patience yet until you get stuck behind an undecided person at a Redbox kiosk.