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When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you´re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for.
I`m a huge fan of screaming "You`re welcome" really loud when people don`t say thank you...
Life would be so much better if there were piñatas strategically placed throughout my day.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
These old people at the bus stop really suck at paintball.
Sometimes I post crazy shit just to see if my friend`s list will drop a few #`s
I just realised that sex is like air..its not important unless you are not getting any.
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
Congratulations India on successfully orbiting a probe around Mars. I assume you`ll be opening call centers on the red planet and using fake Martian names now?
If being an a$$hole was a professional sport, my face would be on a box of wheaties.
Posting a status update before responding to someone`s text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are.
I`m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago.
Back in my day we had 9 planets.
I test drove a car last month. Apparently, you`re not supposed to keep the car for a month. At least that what this cop is telling me.