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If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
According to Facebook, some people I don`t remember are grilling this weekend.
You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.
I`m going to test my theory that tequila kills the flu... Or brain cells... Whatever, doesn`t matter... something`s gonna die tonight.
My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.
You tell me I`m crazy, the voices tell me I`m not. 4 against 1, so........
Sometimes, just to annoy my Therapist, I’ll ask him; “so how does my lack of progress make you feel?”
It scares me when the lights go out and it`s complete darkness. The first thing I think is ... OMG I just went blind!
I wish I had the balls to be a juggler.
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn`t use Real dinosaurs.
Every-time I walk over a sewer grate I look down into it hoping to catch a glimpse of a Ninja Turtle
I always buy a Get Well Soon card for the couple who invites me to their wedding.
It`s called fall because everything is falling; leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...
I`m uncomfortable sharing my feelings with you but completely comfortable standing next to a complete stranger while urinating. - Guys.
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you