Daily Silly Status

Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.

It’s like these fools at the gym have never seen someone with roller skates on the treadmill before.

I tried to make both ends meet, but I`m a poor judge of distance.

I’m just going to put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

People should be loved. Things should be used. Unfortunately, we have it backwards

I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.

I`m still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.

What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.

If a gay guy doesn`t write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy" I`ll be disappointed.

Someone tore off my warning label when I was born.

I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!

You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.

"Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid."

Man:Hello doc, my wife is having a baby. Doctor:Is this the first child? Man:No, it`s the husband speaking.

I have tonight off so if anyone’s free let’s go somewhere and look at our phones together.